This shall not be written in the same tradition that 2015 and 2016 had been written. The usuals, the highlights, and the breaks all took the same road. The ordinariness of life, the big things, and the deep plummets brought me to the same place. A place where contemplation is possible. This might put off some but they are the least of my concerns. This contemplation is one that’s never brought to a conclusion. For it is impossible to fully contemplate what is beyond – God.
The possibility of living in and through the mundane, the affluent, and the dips became so clear because of this very infinite force. My finiteness and everything that came with it became bearable and unexpectedly beautiful. It is a very special connection yet very painfully common.
It is not placebo. It is faith. One may be with me in the struggle of learning about it the hard way but there is indeed light that no amount of darkness can overcome.
Whether from the perspective of theology or not, you’ll know it when it lifts you up from a fall that was never destined to be yours to begin with. Wings, as a woman philosopher would call it. Grace, to simplify.
Take this pair of wings and rise against gravity for the years to come.
Happy new year,
– Same uniform. Black shirt and ankle-grazers. However, there is the Farmer’s market outfit. Flowy and nice. Bare-faced in all occasions.
– Wash and wear hair. Sometimes yoga bun. Sometimes low chignon. I’m just lazy.
– There is the Chanel powder and Guerlain lipstick for when I have to be presentable. But I do like my face without it.
– Three by Ryuichi Sakamoto.
– Speedboat by Renata Adler.
– We moved to a new house.
– Biked around Chiang Mai for a day.
– Finally met Nicole Curato.
– Alvin passed the boards.
– Tequila shots with Champ Lui-Pio.
– My kuya proposed to his girlfriend.
– Yoga in the island.
– High street weekend with my friend Vicky.
– A friend went ahead to be one with the angels.
A lot of happy mundane things happened and I do feel alright about them. Although I did have to say goodbye to a good friend. Here’s to peace even when life is in the mouth of death.
The year that has been had nothing remarkable for me. But it had a lot of good things for my loved ones. I can easily remember 2016 because of the happiness that I genuinely felt for them. I realized that it is possible to have a full heart even if you have empty hands. This thought I will carry with me to the new year. And the good realization, I hope I’d make others realize. It is a great thing that could positively influence one’s demeanor towards life. Words to get you through. Right? Music and writing does not really fill us up materially but it does fill us up. So I’ll try to make music and write some more. For an audience of one? I don’t care. Let’s just get things done. For each heart that hopes. Cheers, babe.
– I always show up in my uniform – black shirt and ankle-grazers. When I’m feeling lazy, I throw a shirtdress (breton or monochrome) and just slide on my Gizeh Birkenstocks.
– I work with information technology devices and try my best to be 95% paperless most of the time.
– I’m trying to be a lawyer.
– I went to the Philippine Senate for a model congress to discuss the bill that I authored. The bill was about mandatory Climate Change education. I think education is the grey area of personal efforts and politics hence the bill.
– I turned vegetarian and am currently preparing myself to go vegan this coming year.
– A friend left for New York.
– I lost my cat.
– I cut my hair.
There are a couple of things that happened this year but I remember only a few of them. In hindsight, I think I paid more attention to those that caused me pride and pain. And I also think that this year made me into a person that doesn’t give a fuck about particular things. I’m less distracted now and I think I now know how to know what to want and how to get it. Whatever that means. You might find it vague, reader but it’s as clear as day to me and that is what matters. See! I don’t give a fuck. I don’t bother. I stopped explaining myself. I mess up, I clean it. Good job, 2015. One fine sandpaper, you got here.